How to Stop Self-Sabotage (and finally get out of your own way)
- Coach April
- Aug 13, 2025
- 3 min read
We all have dreams for ourselves — better health, more energy, stronger relationships, greater success. But sometimes, the biggest obstacle isn’t lack of knowledge, time, or resources.
It’s us.
Self-sabotage is when we actively or passively interfere with our own progress. It can be obvious, like skipping the gym when we’ve already set aside the time, or it can be subtle, like saying “yes” to something we know will drain us.
And it’s sneaky. It disguises itself as “relaxation,” “just one more episode,” or “I’ll start fresh tomorrow.”
My Self-Sabotage Story
For me, one of the biggest patterns showed up at night.
I’d stay up late scrolling my phone or watching TV, telling myself I deserved some downtime after a long day. The problem? Morning always came. And when it did, I was exhausted, hitting snooze until I had to get up.
That meant I was rushing through my morning routine, grabbing whatever breakfast was fastest (and not always the healthiest), and starting the day in a cloud of stress.
I was setting myself up for a rough day before it even began.
How to Stop Self-Sabotage
Recognize the Pattern
The first step in how to stop self-sabotage is to see it for what it is. We can’t change what we won’t acknowledge.
I realized that my “night owl” habit wasn’t serving me. It wasn’t giving me the rest I needed or helping me show up as the best version of myself. It was a pattern — and patterns can be changed.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself to spot self-sabotage:
What’s a habit I keep doing even though it makes things harder for me later?
When do I tend to give in to short-term comfort over long-term benefit?
If I keep doing this, what’s the likely outcome in a month? A year?
Interrupt the Cycle
When you’ve identified a self-sabotaging behavior, don’t try to fix everything overnight. Instead, focus on one small action that disrupts the pattern.
For me, that meant:
Laying out my clothes the night before so I didn’t waste time deciding in the morning.
Setting a firm bedtime and actually sticking to it (yes, even when Netflix begged me for “just one more episode”).
Avoiding the “couch trap” after dinner, when I’d sit down “just for a minute” and end up there for hours.
These small changes made it easier to go to bed on time, which made mornings smoother, which meant I started my day with more calm and less chaos.
Replace, Don't Just Remove
Self-sabotage often fills a need — comfort, distraction, control. If you simply remove the behavior without replacing it, you’re left with a gap, and old habits can creep back in.
I replaced late-night scrolling with:
Reading a few pages of a book
Stretching or doing a short yoga session
A quick gratitude journaling practice
These activities still gave me the feeling of winding down, but without stealing my rest.
Build Momentum With Wins
The biggest shift came when I realized this wasn’t about willpower — it was about momentum.
When I had a good morning, I made better food choices, had more patience, and handled challenges better. One good decision built into another.
And when I did slip? I didn’t spiral. I looked at what caused the slip, made a small adjustment, and kept going.
Give Yourself Grace
Self-sabotage thrives on shame. The more you beat yourself up for a misstep, the more likely you are to think, “Why bother?” and give up entirely.
Instead, treat yourself like you would a friend. If they stayed up too late one night, you wouldn’t tell them to give up on the week — you’d encourage them to try again tomorrow.
The Bottom Line
Self-sabotage is just a pattern. And patterns can be rewritten. Start small. Interrupt the cycle. Replace the behavior with something better. Build momentum. And above all, give yourself grace.
If you’re ready to take this work even further, my Lift & Be Uplifted members get exclusive resources — including a step-by-step worksheet that helps you spot your own self-sabotage patterns and create your personal “interrupt plan.” You don’t have to do this alone — you can join a community that lifts you up while you do the work.
Or, if you prefer a more personalized one-on-one approach, I would love to be your coach. Let's chat!
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